Tennis: The Most Violent Sport?

I am not known for my athletic abilities but I have always enjoyed playing tennis.  I sort of get off on hearing the tennis ball hit that “sweet” spot of the racquet.  So, when I decided one of the best ways to get in shape was to start playing tennis again, I knew that it might take a few lessons before I started to hit the sweet spot again.

I had no idea.

The first lesson went well.  The pros could tell that I had played before and was a bit rusty.  My serve was really spot on (surprise, surprise) and, aside from being a bit out of breathe, I felt like I held my own amongst the 5 or 6 gals participating in the group lesson with me.

But there was something to be said about the second lesson: It sucked.  I had forgotten how painful it is to be hit in the back, leg, ankle, neck and yes, wait for it… THE NIPPLE by a tennis ball.  I would say that the nipple hit was by far the most painful and hardest to shake.  What made the situation even worse was the well meaning but very loud fellow student who would shriek each time I got hit with the ball.

For some reason that perhaps only the gods could explain, my contacts got very dry just as my 1 1/2 hour lesson began.  So, I, of course, could not focus on the ball, the net or my opponents during the rally.  Despite my intense desire to move my feet (and my body away from the ball) I actually could not see the ball coming my way nor could I tell whether or not my partner would save me from intense humiliation.

I was humiliated and could not wait to slink off of the courts.  Ask me if anyone has contacted me to play tennis with them yet?  Uh, the answer is easy: No.  Not a single call or email.  Perhaps too many people witnessed the nipple shot fiasco and are giving me space to lick my wounds (no, not literally) and recover.  I figure it will take at least a week before the swelling goes down.

Just in time for my next tennis lesson.  Great.