Being a Sh*tty Mom Doesn’t Make Me A Bad Parent

Being a Sh*tty Mom Doesn’t Make Me A Bad Parent

See that picture? Yep, that could be me! And I am no longer ashamed to admit it!

 

I am a Sh*tty Mom.  There’s just no other way to say it.  I am also a Sh*tty housewife which shouldn’t surprise anyone since I am a Sh*tty Mom (the two seem to go together.)  Some might say that I am a Sh*tty blogger but that’s getting a bit too personal, don’t you think?

For some time, I have kept my Sh*tty Mom guilt closeted and have shared one or two stories with only my closest friends who either won’t judge me or have already decided that I am an eccentric who needs to get a full time job already!

BUT NOT ANYMORE!

Thanks to the following book:  Sh*tty Mom The Parenting Guide For The Rest Of Us, the shackles of shame have been released!   I am not alone!  There are Moms like me who have, for example, avoided taking her child’s temperature in the morning so she can honestly tell the school nurse that “I had NO IDEA Katie has an 103 degree temperature and has a nasty rash!”  When did that develop?!? She was fine when I dropped her off this morning!” (page 76)

Actually the four fabulous women who wrote this laugh-out-loud, no nonsense bow to mothers, Laurie Kilmartin, Karin Moline, Alicia Ybarbo and Mary Ann Zoellner clearly love their kids.  But they also understand that as much as one can love her offspring, it’s okay to admit, nay declare, that we are still people and have not been transported to some magic “Leave It To Beaver World” where we are transformed into a form of Stepford Wife.  Somewhere in the Mothering world, a mom needs to reclaim herself and be reminded that, at one point or another, we are all Sh*tty Moms.  We just are.

The book reads like you are speaking with your best girlfriend and she is giving you absolution (and solutions) for some of the stickiest situations in Mommyhood. In Chapter 39, “How To Get Rid of a Mom Who Wants to Stay Over During the Entire Playdate”, I felt like I was getting advice from one of my sisters.  The authors outline the scenario: child and mom enter your house, kids run to your daughter’s bedroom and mom lingers. (In my case, Mom not only lingered but watched the children jumping on the trampoline, invited her younger (3 years old) child to jump as well and then interacted with the kids for the entire play date.)  How I wish I had received the Sh*tty Moms advice: either open a bottle of wine and offer some or be honest by saying “you know, there’s so much laundry and cleaning that I was hoping to get done while the girls played…”! Heck, I never realized that I could have started working in my garden and offered the offending mom the rare opportunity to weed it!  But no, because I did not have this amazing book, I was trapped,  like a dummy, trying to engage the other mother in boring and gossipy conversation.

Talk about a waste of a good opportunity to get some free labor or get the woman out of my yard!

Sh*tty Moms really don’t have time (or the attention span) to read long involved books.  If you are a long book reading mom, either you don’t work from home and can take a lunch break or you are ignoring your child BIG TIME and better go check on him PRONTO!  The Sh*tty Mom book is short; only 175 glorious pages!  And the chapters are short: I can read one while in the drive-thru lane at Starbucks.  Seriously, I did that!

Bottom line: Guess what my sisters are getting for the holidays?  You betcha! The Sh*tty Moms book!  Surprise!  And if you are looking for an unusual gift to give a new mother?  Look no further than this book.  You can get it from most book sellers.  It’s also on Amazon if you are like me and download everything onto my kindle.

You’ll be saving the mom many hours of intense guilt and assuring her that she is not a bad mom, but she may be a Sh*tty one–and that’s okay. You don’t have to be perfect to be a great mom!   If that’s not enough, she can probably get through the first half of the book during a 3:00 am feeding.  Follow these gals on twitter too (@shttymoms)!  If it’s the middle of the night, it’s nice to know that there is someone out there feeling your pain so connect to them on their website: Sh*tty Moms.

I won’t judge.  Will you?

 

 

So now it’s your turn: What is your sh*ttiest Mom moment?  Remember, I won’t judge you if you don’t judge me!

 

 

Campingly Yours: She’s Leaving Home

Campingly Yours: She’s Leaving Home

The day I have dreaded is upon us.  K left for overnight camp this morning and I did a good job keeping it together until the very last moment. As I gave her the final hug goodbye, I broke down in tears.  Yes, I BROKE DOWN…not the other way around.  She didn’t shed a tear.  I suppose you’re going to say that the mother crying because she is going to miss her child and not the child crying because she is going to miss her mother is a sign of good parenting.  You know what I say?  I really don’t care.

Let’s be clear; I wanted K to go to camp.  Here are some of the reasons:

  1. Her absence allows my husband and I to go on a much needed GROWN UP vacation. This year we are headed to Africa with friends.
  2. She’s an only child which means K is around adults much of the time.  Going to camp allows her to have an opportunity to live with and interact with other girls her age.
  3. She gets a break from some of the monotony and routine of home.  Mixing it up and being in new situations allows for growth.
  4. Here’s a hard one for me: Being separated, while not ideal, does allow K and I to have a break and appreciate each other when we are together again.  (i.e. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.)
  5. I can take an exercise class or workout whenever I want without having to worry about where K is and if she is having a good time.
  6. I can go to sleep whenever I want.  Since I am the person who usually puts K to sleep, I also don’t go to sleep until she is out for the night.  This can sometimes take longer than I would like.
  7. My husband and I can watch shows with “more mature” themes and language without worrying that K might wander in or be exposed to something we consider to be inappropriate.
  8. We don’t have to be role models.  Yes, I said it.  We CAN eat popcorn for dinner and not feel ashamed that a good example is not being set for our child
  9. There is more spontaneity in our life.  (Interpret that as you see fit.) We can come and go as we please when we please without having to worry about getting a sitter–among other things.
  10. No Nick, Nick Jr. Nick Teen, Disney Channel or other child related shows or movies shall play in our house UNLESS we choose to play them.  Yes, that means that I get control of the remote once in a while and don’t have to barter with my daughter for who gets to watch what when.
There is no doubt that I miss my daughter already and I am confident that she will feel the tug to be home tonight as she gets ready for bed.  But  K has made some serious plans to perfect her water skiing and fishing skills.  She will have a chance to read some books and even more importantly get a break from the “hustle and bustle” of her busy school and extra curricular life.  As for the two of us, well A and I also have a great summer lined up.  We are traveling, visiting with friends and hanging with each other.  It’s been a long time since we have had a chance to get up in the morning and not have to rush Kayla to a lesson or a friends house.  I guess you can call us “Empty Nesters” for the next 8 weeks! I think that after a bit, we will start to like it.