Hairbrush Stuck In Your Hair?  How To Get Free.

Hairbrush Stuck In Your Hair? How To Get Free.

Help!  There is a hairbrush stuck in my head and I can’t get it out!  Do you have any idea how painful this is? It’s almost as bad as having a baby with no anesthesia.  (I said almost.) Who knew that an innocent plastic, round brush with plastic bristles could cause me such anguish? Of course,  I had just 15 minutes to get dressed and do my hair before my family is supposed to go out for dinner.  And the more I pulled, the more the brush adhered to my head.  This was torture–the worst kind– self administered! And, sorry, even if I wanted to…at the time that this picture was taken, there was NO WAY I could vlog about this experience.

Who needs water boarding when you can have a plastic brush pulling your hair out one by one miserable strand?

Help!  There's something in my hair!

Help! There’s something in my hair!

Don’t ask me how I got the brush stuck in my hair. Something about having fine hair but a lot of it?  All I can tell you is my first inclination was to get a pair of kitchen shears (you know the kind with which you use to cut raw chicken?) and cut off the offending section of hair. So, I did the next best thing; I called Adam and asked for help.  When he arrived in the bathroom (without a pair of scissors) Adam couldn’t help but laugh. I guess the image of me with a brush adhered to my head was too much for him.  But he sobered up as soon as I started crying and begging that he (a) call my mother to get advice about what to do and (b) cut my hair.  He refused to do both stating quite simply that my mother wouldn’t have a clue how to help me and  he was not going to be responsible for my looking like an 80’s rock star.

We called Adam’s hair stylist in Chicago–did I mention that we were in Florida when this trauma occurred?  And left a message on his voicemail.  So much for getting professional help.  We tried “googling” a solution and came up with a variety of answers most of which ended with cutting out the hair.  Finally, we patched together a solution:

Items You’ll Need:

• Baby oil

• Knitting Needle/”Rat tail” comb

• Wide tooth comb

• Shampoo

• Conditioner

The Process: 

1  Find a sympathetic friend who is willing to help you. (At this point, it is also helpful for your friend to bring you a shot or two of whisky or tequila–unless of course if you are under age–or a few Tylenol because this is going to be a really long and arduous process.)

2.  Apply a generous amount of oil (preferably baby) to the tangled area. Dab the oil on the tangle with your fingers but be careful not to rub the hair and tangle it more.

3. Getting strands out takes some time so you’ll need to be patient:

  • Stick the tip of the knitting needle or rat tail comb about 1/4 inch into the end of the brush below the hair & insert it on an upward angle between the bristles so the end pokes out through the hair.  
  • Gently pull and tug upward at the tiny strand and slide the end of the comb back and forth beneath it. 
  • Keep loosening the strand until the end slides out of the bristles.

4. Keep the end of the sharp point underneath the strand of hair and grasp the end of the strand with your fingers. Push away from the end of the strand while lifting it up and away from the brush by the ends.

5. Once a strand is free: Clip it with a bobby pin as not to re-tangle it. (And now for the lengthy part of the process.) Repeat the same procedure you used for the first strand until most of the hair is free or you just can’t stand the pain.  

6. Hopefully most of the hair has come out of the hairbrush and you are left with a matted, knotty strand of greasy, oily hair.

7. Hop in the shower and set it to the highest possible temperature that you can stand.  Lather the hair with conditioner (BE GENEROUS!) and practice some deep breathing exercises as you wait for the conditioner to penetrate your messy hair.  Now use a wide tooth comb to untangle the matted hair.  Gently comb out the knots from the ends working your way upwards as the knots untangle

8. Once the knots are out and you are finally free from the brushes of bondage, rinse everything out of your hair.  Now wash your hair with (preferably) a deep clarifying shampoo. It may take several shampoos to remove all of the oil and conditioner from your hair.

9. Rinse and repeat as many times as needed until your hair is squeaky clean. Finish with a deep conditioner to seal the damaged areas.

We have all done some really stupid things in our time.  Case and point? The forehead hickey Lulu got a few years ago from sticking a small plunger (meant to hold my iPod) on her face: http://windycitymomma.com/2011/07/20/an-unexpected-forehead-hickey.  I guess it was just my turn to do something idiotic, huh?  Watch out Adam!  You’re next!

 

 

Tennis: The Most Violent Sport?

I am not known for my athletic abilities but I have always enjoyed playing tennis.  I sort of get off on hearing the tennis ball hit that “sweet” spot of the racquet.  So, when I decided one of the best ways to get in shape was to start playing tennis again, I knew that it might take a few lessons before I started to hit the sweet spot again.

I had no idea.

The first lesson went well.  The pros could tell that I had played before and was a bit rusty.  My serve was really spot on (surprise, surprise) and, aside from being a bit out of breathe, I felt like I held my own amongst the 5 or 6 gals participating in the group lesson with me.

But there was something to be said about the second lesson: It sucked.  I had forgotten how painful it is to be hit in the back, leg, ankle, neck and yes, wait for it… THE NIPPLE by a tennis ball.  I would say that the nipple hit was by far the most painful and hardest to shake.  What made the situation even worse was the well meaning but very loud fellow student who would shriek each time I got hit with the ball.

For some reason that perhaps only the gods could explain, my contacts got very dry just as my 1 1/2 hour lesson began.  So, I, of course, could not focus on the ball, the net or my opponents during the rally.  Despite my intense desire to move my feet (and my body away from the ball) I actually could not see the ball coming my way nor could I tell whether or not my partner would save me from intense humiliation.

I was humiliated and could not wait to slink off of the courts.  Ask me if anyone has contacted me to play tennis with them yet?  Uh, the answer is easy: No.  Not a single call or email.  Perhaps too many people witnessed the nipple shot fiasco and are giving me space to lick my wounds (no, not literally) and recover.  I figure it will take at least a week before the swelling goes down.

Just in time for my next tennis lesson.  Great.