The Glory of the Tooth Fairy

The Glory of the Tooth Fairy

This tooth was taken before its time

This tooth was taken before its time

The tooth didn’t HAVE to come out.  But Lulu insisted when she went to the Orthodontist today that the annoying baby tooth come out. These are her exact words: “I don’t pull my teeth out unless it’s absolutely mandatory! You NEED to get this tooth out!”

I wasn’t there when the dentist gave her the HUGE shot of Novacane but I saw it laying on a tray waiting to be administered.  Flashbacks to the many times I have gripped the dentist’s chair in anticipation of that huge metal cylinder and needle being jabbed into my gums came flashing back to me as I stealthily left the room exclaiming that I had an emergency errand to run.  (Chicken Shit!–come on admit it–you are thinking it aren’t you?  So, yes, I left my baby, my sole child, alone in the dentist’s office to face the needle alone.  May I remind you that she ASKED to have the tooth removed?

Once I returned to the office, the damage (literally) was done.  And Lulu was waiting for me outside the dentist’s office, sucking on a wad of bloody cotton and complaining that the dentist put the needle “into my tooth!  Right in the tooth!  It really hurt.”  Of course she was sort of slurring her words and flecks of blood were spraying out of the gargantuan hole in her mouth.  Where once sat a beautiful little tooth, now was a crater of flesh and, yes, blood.  The dentist assured her that she would stop bleeding within the next two hours.  I was so relieved that I missed the whole “needle and extraction” scene that I really didn’t pay too much attention to what was going on until Lulu stated the following: “The human body only has about 6 quarts of blood in it.  If I continue bleeding at this rate, I’m going to be in trouble.”  Again, the dentist assured her that she really wasn’t losing THAT much blood and to call if there were any complications. (She also mentioned that Lulu seemed very mature for her age. Surprise, surprise <read the sarcasm?>)

I guess there weren’t too many complications.  When Lulu returned home, bloody cotton wad and all, she immediately called a friend and they hooked up the Slip and Slide.  It wasn’t until her friend went home and it was time to clean up that my daughter admitted to me that the  Novacane had worn off and she was in pain.  Question: if she could “Slip and Slide” did she deserve my sympathy too?  Not really but I did take her out for a milkshake and handed her two Advil which immediately made her feel better.

Fast forward to the discussion at the dinner table:  The Tooth Fairy.  Lulu, never one to doubt the existence of a creature who is willing to leave her gifts or money, was less concerned about the true identity of HER fairy and more concerned about her name.  In fact, she left a letter for the tooth fairy to read last night:

Page 1 of the letter to the tooth fairy

Page 1 of the letter to the tooth fairy

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Translation with some commentary:

Dear Tooth (She believes ‘Tooth’ is the fairy’s first name)

The picture I have of you I think is actually one of your workers because you have feathers like in Rise of the Guardians.  You were brave to take the role in public.  Did you have any competition?  

Picture of the Tooth Fairy from the movie, Rise of the Guardians

Picture of the Tooth Fairy from the movie, Rise of the Guardians

So to my point. I went threw (Her spelling, not mine) A LOT of pain to get this little bone (the tooth) out so could you pitch in a little more $$ (Again, Lulu’s symbol–not me trying to cheat a little.)  And don’t throw out this card.  I love the design.  Also, back to the movie (Rise of the Guardians) what was it like?  Someday I want to be as believed in as you.  But a comedian.  Do you think I would have a future?  Is Pitch Black (The dude from the movie who causes nightmares) doing okay?  How’s Kangaroo (Easter Bunny)?  I’m not Christian (Note the symbol: She wasn’t sure how to spell Christian.) So I would not know.  PS. I’m babysitting. 

So there it is.  How should I, um the very busy and TIRED, tooth fairy respond?  I mean, she can’t answer all of those questions!  Enter our little friend: the Internet.  I think that I found the perfect letter in response to Lulu’s quest for more information regarding the Tooth Fairy:

Avoiding the questions and getting to the point.

Avoiding the questions and getting to the point.

Basically, I managed to avoid answering any of her questions and went with some awesome illustrations and hand writing (clearly not my own.)  In fact, this letter was created by Leone Anna Bella Betts, a talented British child’s writer and illustrator, via Rooftop Post.  Fortunately for me, she permits (in fact encourages) parents to use her Tooth Fairy letters and Envelope templates.  (Yes, that is an envelope made of vellum paper in the background.)

I suppose you’re wondering how much Lulu received from the Tooth Fairy given the tremendous bravery and significant pain she endured today?  Three Dollars!  But before you get indignant and protest that Lulu was cheated; these are 3 GOLD coin dollars!  And that, at least to Lulu, still makes a difference.  (Never mind the fact that I get them out of a vending machine at the ice rink every week.)

Lulu leaves for summer camp in two short weeks.  I have to admit that I am a bit grateful for today’s bizarre incident.  I am going to miss that kid and all of the weird, wild adventures and thoughts that come into her head.  Final question:  was she brave or just in a rush to get rid of her baby teeth? Some might even question if there’s a bit of a masochist in my kid: broken wrist two weeks ago and now “encouraging” the dentist to pull her teeth?  If you ask me, I don’t think that Lulu’s going to ask the dentist for a repeat experience.  As far as she is concerned, her teeth (baby or not) are fine where they are.  At least until another one gets “wiggly.”

 

 

 

 

The Great Gatsby: Who Do You Identify With The Most?

The Great Gatsby: Who Do You Identify With The Most?

Gatsby: Who are you?

On the eve of the release of the movie, can’t help but wonder: Are you a Gatsby, a Nick, a Tom or are you just a Daisy? I am increasingly convinced that I must be a Daisy.