Hairbrush Stuck In Your Hair?  How To Get Free.

Hairbrush Stuck In Your Hair? How To Get Free.

Help!  There is a hairbrush stuck in my head and I can’t get it out!  Do you have any idea how painful this is? It’s almost as bad as having a baby with no anesthesia.  (I said almost.) Who knew that an innocent plastic, round brush with plastic bristles could cause me such anguish? Of course,  I had just 15 minutes to get dressed and do my hair before my family is supposed to go out for dinner.  And the more I pulled, the more the brush adhered to my head.  This was torture–the worst kind– self administered! And, sorry, even if I wanted to…at the time that this picture was taken, there was NO WAY I could vlog about this experience.

Who needs water boarding when you can have a plastic brush pulling your hair out one by one miserable strand?

Help!  There's something in my hair!

Help! There’s something in my hair!

Don’t ask me how I got the brush stuck in my hair. Something about having fine hair but a lot of it?  All I can tell you is my first inclination was to get a pair of kitchen shears (you know the kind with which you use to cut raw chicken?) and cut off the offending section of hair. So, I did the next best thing; I called Adam and asked for help.  When he arrived in the bathroom (without a pair of scissors) Adam couldn’t help but laugh. I guess the image of me with a brush adhered to my head was too much for him.  But he sobered up as soon as I started crying and begging that he (a) call my mother to get advice about what to do and (b) cut my hair.  He refused to do both stating quite simply that my mother wouldn’t have a clue how to help me and  he was not going to be responsible for my looking like an 80’s rock star.

We called Adam’s hair stylist in Chicago–did I mention that we were in Florida when this trauma occurred?  And left a message on his voicemail.  So much for getting professional help.  We tried “googling” a solution and came up with a variety of answers most of which ended with cutting out the hair.  Finally, we patched together a solution:

Items You’ll Need:

• Baby oil

• Knitting Needle/”Rat tail” comb

• Wide tooth comb

• Shampoo

• Conditioner

The Process: 

1  Find a sympathetic friend who is willing to help you. (At this point, it is also helpful for your friend to bring you a shot or two of whisky or tequila–unless of course if you are under age–or a few Tylenol because this is going to be a really long and arduous process.)

2.  Apply a generous amount of oil (preferably baby) to the tangled area. Dab the oil on the tangle with your fingers but be careful not to rub the hair and tangle it more.

3. Getting strands out takes some time so you’ll need to be patient:

  • Stick the tip of the knitting needle or rat tail comb about 1/4 inch into the end of the brush below the hair & insert it on an upward angle between the bristles so the end pokes out through the hair.  
  • Gently pull and tug upward at the tiny strand and slide the end of the comb back and forth beneath it. 
  • Keep loosening the strand until the end slides out of the bristles.

4. Keep the end of the sharp point underneath the strand of hair and grasp the end of the strand with your fingers. Push away from the end of the strand while lifting it up and away from the brush by the ends.

5. Once a strand is free: Clip it with a bobby pin as not to re-tangle it. (And now for the lengthy part of the process.) Repeat the same procedure you used for the first strand until most of the hair is free or you just can’t stand the pain.  

6. Hopefully most of the hair has come out of the hairbrush and you are left with a matted, knotty strand of greasy, oily hair.

7. Hop in the shower and set it to the highest possible temperature that you can stand.  Lather the hair with conditioner (BE GENEROUS!) and practice some deep breathing exercises as you wait for the conditioner to penetrate your messy hair.  Now use a wide tooth comb to untangle the matted hair.  Gently comb out the knots from the ends working your way upwards as the knots untangle

8. Once the knots are out and you are finally free from the brushes of bondage, rinse everything out of your hair.  Now wash your hair with (preferably) a deep clarifying shampoo. It may take several shampoos to remove all of the oil and conditioner from your hair.

9. Rinse and repeat as many times as needed until your hair is squeaky clean. Finish with a deep conditioner to seal the damaged areas.

We have all done some really stupid things in our time.  Case and point? The forehead hickey Lulu got a few years ago from sticking a small plunger (meant to hold my iPod) on her face:  I guess it was just my turn to do something idiotic, huh?  Watch out Adam!  You’re next!



She’s Got What?

She’s Got What?

Happy to have what?

My daughter is seven years old and this year she begged me to let her go to overnight camp.  I initially stood my ground and repeated “No, you are too young.  Ask me in a year.”  But she begged, pleaded and promised me that she would take care of her very curly and out of control hair which she has been growing for more than 2 years.  Finally I gave into her pleas and agreed to send her to camp for 4 weeks.  I added that there was one caveat:  She had to take care of her hair.  I sent her to camp with 2 special brushes designed for curly hair.  She promised me that she would wash, condition and BRUSH her hair.  Despite her promises, I warned her that dread locks are not attractive on a seven year-old and I would get her long hair CHOPPED if I saw ONE dread on that precious head when I came to get her.

Imagine my surprise that not even a week after we dropped K off for her first summer at overnight camp and we get the call that no parent wants to get: Your child is afflicted with LICE, LOUSE, EGGS, NITs (or is that KNITS)?  My head is itching at the mere thought!  My perfect, precious, angelic child has BUGS crawling and growing in her hair!

This is not the first time that I have received a call like this.  When she was five, the day care center called me with a lice alert.  At the time I think that I crawled under my desk and screamed “Oh Sh%T! Not my child!  I wash her hair!  She can’t have lice.  I swear to G-d, we bathe!”  Ask my co-workers, they heard me screeching across the call center floor.

As it turns out, she had AN EGG and a bad case of dandruff.  But now…. We’re talking the full blown out thing.  And, of course, where there is one, there are more cases looming all over the camp.  My over active imagination has gone wild and I am anticipating that K will now be labeled “Lice girl” and be ostracized by the entire camp.  No one wants “the cheese touch.”  (Read Diary of a Wimpy Kid if you don’t believe me.) Why? Why does K have to be the one child in her cabin to spread pestilence into the camp?

What makes things worse is that K is now a bit homesick.  So what did she do last night during the all-camp bonfire?  She crawled into the Camp Director (and owner’s) lap and hugged her for at least 5 minutes; head to head.  Double Sh%t!  So, now my kid not only has lice but she may have infected the Camp Director.  Boy!  This is just getting better and better.  K will now go through the DAILY lice inspection and hair washing as the camp tries to avoid a campus-wide epidemic.  Her cabin mates, and especially the counselors, will surely LOVE having her in their group because, they too, will have to tolerate daily inspections.

Was I a bad mother?  Did I ignore my daughter’s hygiene?  WE BATHE!!  I swear to G-d, we do!  My husband even asked me if there was something that he could have/should have been doing that would have avoided this public embarrassment? Uh, no!  In fact, I have learned that lice are attracted to CLEAN hair!!  They don’t like all of those oils and scalp crud.  Was K’s hair too clean?  Too well brushed?  I don’t know.

What I do know is I have quite a job ahead of me washing sheets, bed linens, the dog, the cat….shall I keep going?  My husband, a closet hypochondriac, will surely be itching and asking me to check his scalp daily if not twice a day.  Oy!  And I thought that I got a parental reprieve this month.

Can’t wait to see her in 3 weeks and there better not be dread locks in her hair!