The Father’s Day Gift

If Only It Was That Easy!

  My mother always told me that there are two things in life a girl should never do: unclog toilets and mow the lawn. I am now guilty of doing both.

Well, learning how to unclog the toilet was a necessity. The husband travels frequently and we weren’t going to suffer an unpalatable scents, now were we?  I quickly learned how to plunge and (God Forbid!) snake a toilet to avoid nasty smells in my house.

But I have resisted mowing the lawn.  After all, I (a) consider it a BLUE task (aka A “Man’s job”) and (b) I can pretty much do almost everything else in the house/yard (height restrictions considered; I am only 5’2) and (c) I am actually afraid of the lawn mower and convinced that I am going to cut off my hand or other appendage.  We don’t have a large lawn so it isn’t the magnitude of the chore.  I’ve been holding out on the principal of the thing: The husband should have a task that he can own!

So, decked out in what I consider to be appropriate lawn mowing clothing: Husband’s old college t-shirt (complete with holes and stains), cargo pants with plenty of pockets for who-knows-what, sunglasses, gardening gloves and a ratty baseball cap.  Of course, finishing the look with purple Urban Ears headphones did give me a sort of Uni-Bomber look. But at least I felt like I was dressed for the part. And now I was ready to “screw my courage to the sticking place.”

I wish I could say that I had a problem running the machine. My husband had gone through how to start and run the mower at least 5 or 6 times with me in the past few weeks. And true to his word, the machine was easy to navigate and use, but let’s just say that I have never been too accurate with my lines and angles.  The lawn looks a bit irregular: like whoever mowed it must have had a few too many drinks prior to going to the task.  And what takes my spouse 20 minutes to complete, took me 40.  But, alas, I got the job done–it wasn’t pretty but it was done.

I know that my husband is relieved that he has gotten a lawn-mowing reprieve this week.  And I suppose that mowing the lawn is sort of a good gift. I would like to say that the whole experience of cutting the grass and making my lawn look as homogeneous as my neighbors’ was a therapeutic experience for me and perhaps even life altering but that would be a lie.

It was what it was–long, dirty, dusty and overwhelmingly smelly (of grass of course!)  I don’t feel that I learned anything new about myself..blah, blah. However, I do have a greater appreciation for my husband’s passion for having a beautiful lawn.  And I now understand why he gets somewhat indignant when he sees urine burn stains on the lawn.  It takes a long time and quite a bit of commitment to manage the grass.  Urine burns are a direct insult to the lawn maintenance initiative.

My one and only hope is that my husband doesn’t consider lawn mowing as now my task.  Yes, I conquered my fear of the lawn mower and I don’t mind cutting the grass once in a while but I would prefer that it remain in the Blue (tasks, that is.)