Archives for March 2013

International Women’s Day: 10 Things I Want My Daughter To Know

International Women’s Day: 10 Things I Want My Daughter To Know

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Today is International Women’s Day.  At first I felt uneasy about a specific day dedicated to my gender.  Will men also have their day?  Or is everyday really their day? Anyway, I thought that I could use “International Women’s Day” as a great reason to dedicate a post to 10 life lessons that might guide my daughter’s growth this year and beyond:

1. You is kind… You is smart… You is important. (The Help)

You must remember these three things everyday.  Your father and I believe in you and you must always believe that you possess these three characteristics.

2. Learn, learn, learn from everyone and everything that you encounter. 

It’s called “an education.”  Yes, academics are important and the key to much success but so is exploring the world and asking a lot of questions about the things that you don’t understand and about which you want to know.

3. Mistakes are part of learning. Make lots of them but try not to let those mistakes be at the expense of someone else. Oh, and be sure to learn from them too.

4. Enjoy being by yourself.  It’s not a crime and it can be fun. 

Going out for dinner alone can be a spiritual journey and not necessarily an exercise in loneliness. I love traveling by myself—I get to see all of the places that I want to visit and I’m not sidelined by the interests of others.

5. “Nullum Gratuitum Prandium” that’s Latin for “There is not such thing as a free lunch.”

Yes, for some people it appears that things come very easy.  Don’t be fooled; nothing is free and, as my 10th grade Biology teacher explained to me, for everything there is a price.  So, if you really want something in life, you have to really work for it.  If it is easy to get, you probably won’t value it as much as the things that you worked really hard to obtain.   That said, don’t let anyone or anything stop you from getting what you want out of your life.

6. Listen to you MOTHERS!

A lot of women came before you.  Respect and pay attention to the lives and the stories of the women who came before you.  Their sacrifices, work and actions helped to mold what your life has and will become.  You can learn from their triumphs as much as you can from their mistakes.  Just don’t forget from whom and where you come.  Pay homage to those women, they have earned your respect

7. You have so many wonderful talents and gifts, remember to share them with the world. 

Part of being a contributing member of society is sharing what you have with others. Even if you think that you have little or nothing to share, your mere presence in the life of another person can be present enough.

8. Sticks and stones will break your bones and names certainly do hurt.

As technology improves and communication travels at the speed of light, it is getting easier and easier for the power of the pen to yield great power.  So be mindful of what you say, write and put out in the world particularly about others. Your actions can have sweeping implications and their outcomes may not be what you had anticipated.

9. No matter what anyone says to you, there is NOTHING wrong with being a girl. 

I am proud of being a woman and having you as my child.  Lots of people want to tear you down and blame your gender as a reason to deny you great opportunities.  Don’t take “NO” for an answer. You are strong, smart and brave.  Gender has nothing to do with these qualities.  Don’t let it be your or anyone else’s excuse for limiting your access to success.

10. Call your mother even when you think that you are too old/too mature/too embarrassed:  You may not always want to follow my advice or to listen to what I have to say, but I will always be on your side and support you—even if I don’t agree with your decisions.

And with that, happy International Women’s Day!

This post was inspired by Karen Walrond‘s essay entitled “The 10 things I want my daughter to know on international women’s day.” 

 

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Three generations of women celebrating International Women’s Day!

Hairbrush Stuck In Your Hair?  How To Get Free.

Hairbrush Stuck In Your Hair? How To Get Free.

Help!  There is a hairbrush stuck in my head and I can’t get it out!  Do you have any idea how painful this is? It’s almost as bad as having a baby with no anesthesia.  (I said almost.) Who knew that an innocent plastic, round brush with plastic bristles could cause me such anguish? Of course,  I had just 15 minutes to get dressed and do my hair before my family is supposed to go out for dinner.  And the more I pulled, the more the brush adhered to my head.  This was torture–the worst kind– self administered! And, sorry, even if I wanted to…at the time that this picture was taken, there was NO WAY I could vlog about this experience.

Who needs water boarding when you can have a plastic brush pulling your hair out one by one miserable strand?

Help!  There's something in my hair!

Help! There’s something in my hair!

Don’t ask me how I got the brush stuck in my hair. Something about having fine hair but a lot of it?  All I can tell you is my first inclination was to get a pair of kitchen shears (you know the kind with which you use to cut raw chicken?) and cut off the offending section of hair. So, I did the next best thing; I called Adam and asked for help.  When he arrived in the bathroom (without a pair of scissors) Adam couldn’t help but laugh. I guess the image of me with a brush adhered to my head was too much for him.  But he sobered up as soon as I started crying and begging that he (a) call my mother to get advice about what to do and (b) cut my hair.  He refused to do both stating quite simply that my mother wouldn’t have a clue how to help me and  he was not going to be responsible for my looking like an 80’s rock star.

We called Adam’s hair stylist in Chicago–did I mention that we were in Florida when this trauma occurred?  And left a message on his voicemail.  So much for getting professional help.  We tried “googling” a solution and came up with a variety of answers most of which ended with cutting out the hair.  Finally, we patched together a solution:

Items You’ll Need:

• Baby oil

• Knitting Needle/”Rat tail” comb

• Wide tooth comb

• Shampoo

• Conditioner

The Process: 

1  Find a sympathetic friend who is willing to help you. (At this point, it is also helpful for your friend to bring you a shot or two of whisky or tequila–unless of course if you are under age–or a few Tylenol because this is going to be a really long and arduous process.)

2.  Apply a generous amount of oil (preferably baby) to the tangled area. Dab the oil on the tangle with your fingers but be careful not to rub the hair and tangle it more.

3. Getting strands out takes some time so you’ll need to be patient:

  • Stick the tip of the knitting needle or rat tail comb about 1/4 inch into the end of the brush below the hair & insert it on an upward angle between the bristles so the end pokes out through the hair.  
  • Gently pull and tug upward at the tiny strand and slide the end of the comb back and forth beneath it. 
  • Keep loosening the strand until the end slides out of the bristles.

4. Keep the end of the sharp point underneath the strand of hair and grasp the end of the strand with your fingers. Push away from the end of the strand while lifting it up and away from the brush by the ends.

5. Once a strand is free: Clip it with a bobby pin as not to re-tangle it. (And now for the lengthy part of the process.) Repeat the same procedure you used for the first strand until most of the hair is free or you just can’t stand the pain.  

6. Hopefully most of the hair has come out of the hairbrush and you are left with a matted, knotty strand of greasy, oily hair.

7. Hop in the shower and set it to the highest possible temperature that you can stand.  Lather the hair with conditioner (BE GENEROUS!) and practice some deep breathing exercises as you wait for the conditioner to penetrate your messy hair.  Now use a wide tooth comb to untangle the matted hair.  Gently comb out the knots from the ends working your way upwards as the knots untangle

8. Once the knots are out and you are finally free from the brushes of bondage, rinse everything out of your hair.  Now wash your hair with (preferably) a deep clarifying shampoo. It may take several shampoos to remove all of the oil and conditioner from your hair.

9. Rinse and repeat as many times as needed until your hair is squeaky clean. Finish with a deep conditioner to seal the damaged areas.

We have all done some really stupid things in our time.  Case and point? The forehead hickey Lulu got a few years ago from sticking a small plunger (meant to hold my iPod) on her face: http://windycitymomma.com/2011/07/20/an-unexpected-forehead-hickey.  I guess it was just my turn to do something idiotic, huh?  Watch out Adam!  You’re next!