I am a Sh*tty Mom. There’s just no other way to say it. I am also a Sh*tty housewife which shouldn’t surprise anyone since I am a Sh*tty Mom (the two seem to go together.) Some might say that I am a Sh*tty blogger but that’s getting a bit too personal, don’t you think?
For some time, I have kept my Sh*tty Mom guilt closeted and have shared one or two stories with only my closest friends who either won’t judge me or have already decided that I am an eccentric who needs to get a full time job already!
BUT NOT ANYMORE!
Thanks to the following book: Sh*tty Mom The Parenting Guide For The Rest Of Us, the shackles of shame have been released! I am not alone! There are Moms like me who have, for example, avoided taking her child’s temperature in the morning so she can honestly tell the school nurse that “I had NO IDEA Katie has an 103 degree temperature and has a nasty rash!” When did that develop?!? She was fine when I dropped her off this morning!” (page 76)
Actually the four fabulous women who wrote this laugh-out-loud, no nonsense bow to mothers, Laurie Kilmartin, Karin Moline, Alicia Ybarbo and Mary Ann Zoellner clearly love their kids. But they also understand that as much as one can love her offspring, it’s okay to admit, nay declare, that we are still people and have not been transported to some magic “Leave It To Beaver World” where we are transformed into a form of Stepford Wife. Somewhere in the Mothering world, a mom needs to reclaim herself and be reminded that, at one point or another, we are all Sh*tty Moms. We just are.
The book reads like you are speaking with your best girlfriend and she is giving you absolution (and solutions) for some of the stickiest situations in Mommyhood. In Chapter 39, “How To Get Rid of a Mom Who Wants to Stay Over During the Entire Playdate”, I felt like I was getting advice from one of my sisters. The authors outline the scenario: child and mom enter your house, kids run to your daughter’s bedroom and mom lingers. (In my case, Mom not only lingered but watched the children jumping on the trampoline, invited her younger (3 years old) child to jump as well and then interacted with the kids for the entire play date.) How I wish I had received the Sh*tty Moms advice: either open a bottle of wine and offer some or be honest by saying “you know, there’s so much laundry and cleaning that I was hoping to get done while the girls played…”! Heck, I never realized that I could have started working in my garden and offered the offending mom the rare opportunity to weed it! But no, because I did not have this amazing book, I was trapped, like a dummy, trying to engage the other mother in boring and gossipy conversation.
Talk about a waste of a good opportunity to get some free labor or get the woman out of my yard!
Sh*tty Moms really don’t have time (or the attention span) to read long involved books. If you are a long book reading mom, either you don’t work from home and can take a lunch break or you are ignoring your child BIG TIME and better go check on him PRONTO! The Sh*tty Mom book is short; only 175 glorious pages! And the chapters are short: I can read one while in the drive-thru lane at Starbucks. Seriously, I did that!
Bottom line: Guess what my sisters are getting for the holidays? You betcha! The Sh*tty Moms book! Surprise! And if you are looking for an unusual gift to give a new mother? Look no further than this book. You can get it from most book sellers. It’s also on Amazon if you are like me and download everything onto my kindle.
You’ll be saving the mom many hours of intense guilt and assuring her that she is not a bad mom, but she may be a Sh*tty one–and that’s okay. You don’t have to be perfect to be a great mom! If that’s not enough, she can probably get through the first half of the book during a 3:00 am feeding. Follow these gals on twitter too (@shttymoms)! If it’s the middle of the night, it’s nice to know that there is someone out there feeling your pain so connect to them on their website: Sh*tty Moms.
I won’t judge. Will you?
So now it’s your turn: What is your sh*ttiest Mom moment? Remember, I won’t judge you if you don’t judge me!